Sue Story: The Invasion
by ThePurpleRose
Summary: The Mary Sues invade Eragon! What will be done to save Eragon and Murtagh? Does anyone want to save Roran? Will Eragon tell Nasuada who his brother is? Set after Eldest Please read and review! CHAPTER 2 UP!
1. Remembering Or Not

**AN:**** I had a random idea and thought I should put it in a story. Be warned: This story contains Mary Sues in a funny kinda way. It is the INVASION! Yes, this is a humour fic but this chapter won't be as funny 'cause it has to 'set the scene' so if you don't find it particularly funny, the second chapter will be funnier by a heck of a lot!**

**I'm not insulting other people's stories by using the Sues that regularly appear in them. We all use Mary Sues at some point whether we want to or not and some Mary Sue stories are actually really good, it just depends on the writer.**

_**Disclaimer: (Sniff) I don't own Eragon 'cause Christopher Paolini wouldn't give it to me for my birthday (sniff)!**_

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Eragon yawned; it had been a mindlessly boring flight so far and he was on the verge of falling asleep just for the sake of it. It had fallen on him and Saphira to tell the Elves of Hrothgar's death because they could cross the Hadarac desert faster than anyone else in the Varden.

He wished Arya was here. She'd wanted to come but Saphira had growled and given her a really evil look so Arya had stayed behind with Nasuada to help the leader of the Varden recover from seeing Murtagh on Galbatorix' side. The woman was obsessed!

He could imagine her reaction when he eventually told her of his newly realised parentage. He laughed at the thought.

"_Nasuada?" Eragon questioned._

_Lady Nasuada looked up from scrutinising a piece of lace intensely to the face of the blue rider. "Yes Eragon? Hurry up, spit it out! I'm very busy looking at lace right now."_

"_You know you can look at lace and talk, right?" Eragon enquired._

_Her gaze flickered form one side of the room to the other repeatedly. " Of course… I was just… testing you to see if you'd realise. You have passed the test. Now speak!"_

"_Very well." He took a deep breath before blurting out. "Murtaghismybrother."_

_Nasuada's eyebrows rose. "What?"_

"_Murtagh is my brother."_

_Nasuada looked blank for a moment before shrieking: "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh my god! Eragon! That's great news! Can you get him to take on a date!"_

Eragon was snapped from his surprisingly detailed daydream by a sharp realisation that he was falling. _Saphira! _He called. _Help meee!_

_What? … Oh! I get it! You fell off! Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was daydreaming about… ahem._

_I don't care about that! Saphira! Help! You know, if I die, so do you._

_I hadn't thought of that. I'm coming Eragon!_

_Good! I should think so too!_

The ground was looming ever closer. Eragon willed Saphira to hurry up, sure that she was taunting him. At that moment, a purple steak of lightening flashed beside him. Time seemed to speed up as he hurtled ever faster to the floor and hit the ground with a sickening crunch.

The last thing he heard was Saphira calling his name franticly as he allowed the darkness to consume him.

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Relaying his story for Galbatorix for the fiftieth time had really taken it's toll on Murtagh. In fact, by the time he crawled into his bed, he resembled a corpse dragged from its grave through a hedge backwards. He allowed himself a little laugh as he remembered the story Galbatorix had failed to understand forty-nine times and had actually believed on the fiftieth. Man, that guy was thick for someone who had managed to figure out Murtagh and Thorn's true names.

"_Say that again." The insane king, Galbatorix drilled his 'loyal' minion, with a rather confused expression on his face._

_Murtagh sighed and began the tale again. "Well, your majesty, I was on my way to Tescos in some place with a load of houses, and I met Eragon buying dragon food. He told me he was going on holiday to Hawaii for a while and so would be unable to make it to the war. He sends you his finest regards by the way. But anyway, I told him I was his brother. He replied: Okay, see you next war big bro!"_

"_You expect me to believe that?"_

"_Galby, of course you would believe that." After that, Murtagh crossed his fingers behind his back. "It's the truth so you should."_

_Galby questioned. "Should I?"_

"_Yes!" Murtagh said firmly._

"_Fine. I believe you. You may go now. But next time you meet Eragon in Tescos send him my regards back."_

"_I thought you hated him."_

"_Christopher what's-his-face said I had to but it's sooooooooo mean! Barbie would never do that to Eragon! Why did you desert me Barbie? WHY?"_

_Murtagh left the King to his grief, knowing full well that Barbie was most likely to be in the sewers after Murtagh had flushed it away because he was sick of Galbatorix constantly talking to the thing in the middle of lesson. If he was going to be tortured with boredom, he'd rather do it away from those eerie, unseeing, plastic eyes._

Back in his bedroom, Murtagh shuddered at the thought of 'Barbie' as a purple flash drew his attention to the window. Being to lazy to get up, and not seeing anything scary, Murtagh turned his attention back to the ceiling.

Instead of the ceiling, he clapped eyes on a set of blood red nails.

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Roran sat on the red-orange soil over the burning plains, gazing up at the stars. Well, that was what he appeared to be doing to the untrained eye but Roran was actually very busy remembering life in the village of Carvahall and trying to imagine finding Katrina. The problem he faced, however, was that he could achieve neither. He found it impossible to remember Carvahall and imagine rescuing Katrina.

Suddenly, yep, you guessed it, a purple streak of lightening struck the ground beside him. He gaped at it, then shrugged and got up to go back into the tent he was supposed to be sleeping in and sharing with Eragon.

But before he could, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

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**AN:**** See, I told you it would be short. But anyhoo, review and tell me what you think of it so far. **

**Please review :-P**


	2. My Eyes! My Beautiful Eyes!

**AN: Yep, I haven't updated this since I wrote the first chapter but I am now! I'm kinda drowning in a sea of ****coursework and the drama rehearsals make it even more difficult to get it done but I have made time to update something and I picked this for some reason unknown to me – probably the fact that I found the perfect names for my Mary Sues. They all mean something that relates to their characters. Eventually, you will find out what they all mean.**

_**Disclaimer: I could get down on my knees and beg but I'm still never gonna miraculously own it. I'm not CP.**_

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Thorn wasn't best pleased. He'd been forced to attack Saphira not long ago by Murtagh, who was being forced by the mad, evil and criminally stupid King Galby, and he actually thought she was, well…. Really cute. Besides, she was the only female dragon in existence and he was the only male dragon in existence. Well, there was Glaedr but he was deformed and Shruikan but he was likely to be gay from some of the weird looks Thorn had received from the huge black dragon.

Not only did he have to put up with a gay dragon sharing his castle, Murtagh had just yanked him out of a blissful dream in which he was flying past a colourful sunset with Saphira with an ultra loud and super girly shriek. Thorn was not a happy bunny. On the contrary, he was a very peeved bright red, sloppily named dragon, who could and would breathe fire and burn Murtagh to a girly screaming crisp.

_TTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRN! BARBIE__'S BEEN REINCARNATED AND BIGGERED!_

Thorn raised one large, scaly eyebrow. _Biggered? What kind of word is that?_

_One you use when a massive Barbie's attacking you! Man, she's fit! _Murtagh sent back.

_What? Barbie? _Thorn replied, confused by his rider's odd behaviour. _She's plastic!_

_No, not Barbie, you twit! Melleanora! The really beautiful woman in my room._

_Okay then…_ There was no doubt about it; Thorn's rider had finally cracked. Murtagh could not get a beautiful lady within a three mile radius of his room even if he tried harder than humanely possible. Murtagh had to have gone insane.

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Roran froze at the tap on his shoulder. Eyes bulging, he span around with a girly shriek, fully prepared to gauge out his attacker's eyes and leg it back to the tent where he could hide behind some burly, drunken dwarves. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

To his surprise, his attacker screamed back.

So he screamed more.

So his attacker screamed more.

So he increased the volume.

So his attacker increased the volume.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Roran stopped screaming and panted. He prepared himself instead for the gauging out of the attacker's eyes as he had planned earlier.

He stopped himself; to gauge out eyes as pretty as those ones were would be a crime. The eyes looking up at him were a stunning ocean blue and they belonged to an equally stunning young woman. It was dark, so he could see only an outline of her but it was enough to know that she had all the right curves in all the right places. He could also make out the way her hair caught the moonlight and sparkled like she should up with the stars above.

"I…er… I wish to apologise for startling you like that. I have travelled far to be here to pledge my fealty to the Varden. I would like to join the great battle the rages against King Galbatorix and his empire." She had a voice like liquid silk, so pure that he felt the underlying need to trust her.

He wondered what he should say and it came to him. He extended his hand for her to shake, completely unaware that, as she was a lady, he ought to be taking her hand and kissing it. "I am Roran Stronghammer."

"Greetings Roran," she said, shaking his hand. "My name is Viridiana."

This time, Roran remembered his manners. He thought he had better think of them when in the presence of such a beauteous lady. He offered her his arm. "Well, Viridiana, please allow me to escort you to Lady Nasuada."

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Eragon's brain felt all foggy. He hurt all over. The last thing he remembered, he was falling then there had been a really freaky purple flash of lightening and he had been hurtling to the ground faster than he had ever travelled in his entire lifetime, it seemed.

Now there was a warm, soft hand on his forehead and a voice like liquid honey whispering in his ear.

"Dragon Rider!" It compelled him to open his eyes. "Wake up, Dragon Rider."

He did as the voice wanted. Looking down at him with a smile, while cradling his head in her arms had to be the most drop dead gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes upon. She looked young, about his age, and yet her eyes, like his, had a sense of forced maturity and wisdom about them. Behind those deep violet eyes was proof that this young woman had been forced to grow up before her time. Despite this youth, she had a voluptuous figure, displayed in black leather both to protect her from physical blows, like the great sword with a purple jewelled hilt, and to match with her black, blonde and lilac curls that shone brilliantly under the bright sunlight, shading her pale, milky skin.

"Are you all right? I thought you were a goner when I saw you fall like that." She explained, helping the battered and bruised Eragon to his feet. "I'm Qianalyne, by the way."

Qianalyne extended a hand for him. He kissed it. "I am Eragon Shadeslayer, fair lady. I thank you for your concern."

She laughed, a beautiful trilling sound that made Eragon's heart want to sing. "It was the least I could do to heal your more serious injuries, Dragon rider, though your Dragon was not very pleased about the whole idea. She quietened down pretty quickly when she met my Gizemiavara."

Eragon just gazed at her in an awed and confused way.

She laughed again. "Gizemiavara is my Dragon."

Eragon gasped. "You are a dragon rider?"

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Somewhere in the vast expanse of corridors, carefully arranged to be as like a maze as possible in the King's evilness, in Galbatorix's castle, the insane King himself roamed. He was blatantly moping as he was prone to do since the loss of his beloved Barbie.

"Erm… Your majesty?" A timid voice interrupted Galby's moping.

"What?" The mad King snapped; he really hated to be interrupted in the midst of his grief.

"Your scrying crystal is all set up, your majesty." The servant, a young boy of about fifteen years, announced.

Galbatorix nodded, "Good, Send for Murtagh and Thorn. It would be beneficial for them to watch the master in action." He smiled evilly. If there was one thing Galbatorix enjoyed more than talking to his beloved Barbie, it was being extremely arrogant. After all, when Barbie was not around, he was the next best thing to have around, he believed.

He rushed into the room where he kept his massive scying crystal. Normal people used a mirror or some water but no, he could never just be normal; he was insane and also a king; he had to be different.

He spoke the magic words without waiting for his minions. If they were too slow to get there in time then that was their own problem. The image of a girl with copper hair swirled into the crystal.

Her name was Katrina and the king was holding her with Ra'Zac as bait for the one called Roran Stronghammer, the cousin of Eragon, who would lead the blue rider right into Galby's Barbie-loving mitts.

"Sorry we took so long, sire," Murtagh said tentatively. "I just…"

Galbatorix whirled round to yell at Murtagh for his lateness and suggest that he acquire a watch when he noticed that his minion had brought a woman with him – a woman he had a felling he had met before.

"This is Melleanora." Murtagh introduced her.

The name seemed familiar to him but he just could not place it. He recognised those locks of liquid flame and yet she still brought nothing more than a faint whiff of recognition from the king.

Melleanora stepped into the light. She held something in her hand.

Galbatorix gasped and flung himself at her. "BARBIEEEEEEE!"

Melleanora stiffened. She questioned, "Father?"

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"Do you think they will succeed?" A musical voice enquired. The voice belonged to a curvaceous beauty with name of Kazimiera. She had emerald green eyes flecked with silver, matched with long ringlets of different shades of brown.

A colder, less musical voice replied. "They will have to. I have many more of these projects currently on-going. I cannot afford to spare any more of my girls or create any more of them. Besides, Kazimiera, you know they have so much less spark when just created. They need to live not exist."

"What if they fail, Desdemona?" Kazimiera asked. "These ones all live but they are few in number. Is it not faster when there are more girls on the scene? It was be awful to create another! I do not know about you, but I value my emotions and life-span. It would be awful to have them gone."

Desdemona's eyes flashed red as she stepped back from the viewing window. She was tall, standing around a foot above the not so tall body of Kazimiera. She too displayed the tell-tale hourglass belonging to the beautiful women of her origin but her most unique feature was her eyes. The colour of a spectacular sunset, the eyes of Desdemona could charm any hot-blooded male for miles around, but that was not all; their colour changed depending on her mood. In a fit of anger, they would flare like fire, becoming a beacon of glowing crimson that matched the natural blood-red streaks in her jet black locks.

Her eyes softened and she laughed coolly. "Just one of our girls is able to cause utter chaos amongst these pathetic story realms. However, if they require assistance, though it is early days at present, I shall ready you and you will join the others at once."

As Kazimiera peered behind her into the viewing window, Desdemona resolved to report to her leader.

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**AN: The Sues have arrived! I've been writing this between coursework and rehearsals. The first performance of the latest production is on Tuesday, so right now it's Rehearsals, rehearsals, rehearsals. I know that was a really bad chapter but it's just briefly introducing my Mary Sues. The next chapter's where it actually starts and gets funnier.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the rubbish first chapter. I am going to do review replies but I haven't got a lot of time to do it now so I'm going to post the review replies next chapter.**

**Please review:-p**

**I need feedback.**

**Also, virtual orange cheese to all who do review! Chuub:-P**


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